Friday, April 29, 2011

Wishin' you were here...

In life, men I've met, good ones are few and rare. One of em, whom I loved a lot, is a responsible man who showers me with unconditional love, knows my name, remembers the first flick we went together, never forgets the things i said, never shout at me even when he's angwee, wants thing that's best for me, never ogle at other women, sacrifices his time without complainin, loyal, patience, hugs me when i cry, takin care of me when i'm sick, appreciates the gifts I bought him, and kind. You inspired me, gave me the courage to never give up on love. Because I've seen and felt what's it like to be the only girl in the world when he's around. No one can ever replace you. No one is comparable.

Once in a while, this happens. Me being a crybaby, especially when i think of him. Tears just comes easily, definitely not using em as a threat.

I miss you so so much, daddy. Its been two years...

xoxo. ❥

Sunday, April 24, 2011

once a week.

don't promise if you're not capable of keepin it.

don't tell me those are jokes, when you really mean it.

don't tell me i'm beautiful, when you can't take your eyes off other women.

don't tell me you can't love, just because you don't know.

don't tell me you didn't do it, just because you're lazy.

don't tell me you'd give me the stars, when you can't be bothered to watch em with me.

don't give excuses, when all you can think of are lies.

don't lie, if you said you love me.

don't love me, if you intend to do all the above repetitively.

my trust is limited.

don't take things for granted.

don't regret for the things you've said and done.

limited memory we humans may have, but i do remember. for each and every word from you is as important as my own life.

xoxo. ❥ ann

Tuesday, April 19, 2011


uber cute *wink*

wazzat? found all these pics from a japanese pastry blog with heaps of yummylicious delicacies, which actually inspires me more, tempting me to bake. tee heeeee. to those who don't know, guess nobody knows, i've the urge to go for bakery classes. *grins* yes yes, i want to be a pet groomer, and this and that and now baker huh? :P


macarons aka. babycakes. i wanna go K avenue!

croissant with egg fillings. reminds me of Levaine, i wonder if they have these there.

babycakes on top of a cake. nice combo of colors. *swoons* pink.


the end.

Monday, April 18, 2011

囧囧 post

today colleague asked what does gwing means...*grins*

囧 pronounced as 'jiǒng' (jiong3) in Mandarin and 'gwing' in Cantonese.

mostly made it's appearances in chinsese bbs, forums, sms-es, and chatrooms. and is often used to describe your anger, upset-ness, disappointment, embarrassment, or failure.

the big 囗 in 囧 stands for your face,八 for your eyebrows,the small 口 stands for a open mouth. so normally you use 囧 to show your totally gobsmacked.


jasper : i ate 100 hamburgers last night!

alice : 囧

jiong3 can also be used when you're hit with troubles or setbacks.
most of us prolly have know what 'Orz' means. to those who have zero knowledge, it's used to show your surprise or shock. You've got me! or, OMG! nowadays, peeps usually do a combination of 囧 and Orz, 囧rz, representin a person on their hands and knees (jiong3 forming the face, while r and z represent arms and legs respectively) and symbolisin despair or failure.

more interestin gwing gwing words xD
囧rz : a combination of 囧 and ORZ.

崮rz : a king in the kingdom of 囧, means your very good at 囧.haha

莔rz : queen of 崮rz

商rz : a 囧 with a hat.

冏rz : this is 商rz's wife.

gwing gwing  sneakers, which was popular back  in 2008.

cute nor?
one piece gwing gwing face

Thursday, April 14, 2011


i woke up, and felt empty inside

we met in the strangest way, and our time together was simple and yet so incredible.

every time you came to visit me, i felt a kind of happiness that i can’t even explain and every time you left i counted down the days until i would see you again. i fell for you after only knowin you for a few days, and after that I just continued to fall.

i was happy that it seemed like nothing could bring me down, but a fear that I knew all too well was creepin up on me, as it had done with all of my past relationships. i was now so afraid of what life would be like without you that I convinced myself that everythin would be easier if I ended our relationship before I began to rely on you too much.

the boys that i date seem dull, and this makes me miss you even more. these boys can’t make me laugh the way you did, the sight of them doesn’t make me feel like the happiest girl in the world. this is how you made me feel every time I saw you.

i loved the simple text messages you would send me every mornin, tellin me how beautiful i was and how much you missed me. i loved the way you smelled like cigarettes, and i loved your smile.

i’m stuck. i will continue to wake up every day feelin empty and i will carry on with my day-to-day life, until maybe, just maybe, you decide to tell me that i’m not alone in this and that you too have felt empty...

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

the real trick is knowing to stop before you get confused

i was never one to patiently pick up broken fragments and glue them together again and tell myself that the mended whole was as good as new. what is broken is broken - and I’d rather remember it as it was at its best than mend it and see the broken places as long as I lived.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

beep beep. not coyote beep.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! freakin cute. guess what breed's this?

and this and this? *swooons*

i got it then. life was too short to be with someone who wasn’t quite right, someone who made you think more than they made you feel..

puppets in the rain

i love when the sky is grey. especially when it rains. when the dawn paints the roofs of the buildings and the sun is still hidin. the city is ours then. right before everyone takes over, right when everyone is still sleepin. it’s hard to notice that it’s so cold when it’s this pretty. but this doesn't make me hate the sun tho. i have my own sun, my own Jacob :P

Monday, April 11, 2011

pink balloon blue balloon

this morning, when i open my eyes, eight thoughts flooded me...
  • i hate gettin out of bed, it's freakin cold
  • i'm not a superhero and i've to go work
  • if i'm a superhero, i'd avoid sleepin, meanin i've more time spent
  • i'm glad bee's here
  • i'm hungry. i need food.
  • it's simple. i prefer my eggs over easy, my coffee with cream, and my love with reckless abandon
  • still wonderin, what was my friday's dreamt about. i screamed out loud 'STOP'. hmmm...
  • 4th day *grins*



monday blues

i read somewhere that if you think you're gonna cry, you can recite the colors of things to make it stop.
turquoise nail polish. pink flamingo. red zippo. green babycakes.

Friday, April 08, 2011

this is gettin fun..

this shorts has pockets.
you put your hands in the shorts' pockets.
you are behind me.
we are feelin the wind facin the ocean.
white seagulls.
fascinated by the sound of waves as it hits the rocks.
your body moves behind me.
my shorts moves.
i put my hands in my pockets.
my hands
with your hands
in the pockets of a shorts.


i am yours.
you are mine.
of this we are certain.
you are lodged in my heart.
the small key is lost.
you must stay there forever.

people aren't pictures

which is why when you feel that it'll take everythin you have and you think that it'll take a lifetime to accomplish, you need to remember that that's exactly what you have. the heart is a muscle like any other and the best exercise you can do for it is called pickin yourself up off the floor.

it's when you hold eye contact for that second too long or maybe the way you laugh. it sets off a flash and our memories take a picture of who we are at that point when we first know "this is love." and we clutch that picture to our hearts because we expect each other to always be the people in that picture. but people change. people aren't pictures. and you can either take a new picture or throw the old one away.

so you look for patterns because that's what humans do to try and make sense of things. in hope of some divine order. and you look in movies and songs and the things that you read for symbols, points and swirls that match your own. but the only real pattern there is, is the one you make when you hold up a mirror. And reflect.

yes, we could kiss. i could kiss you and you could kiss me. there's no science, plane ticket or clock stoppin us. but if we kiss, it will end the world. and i've ended the world before. no one survived. least of all me.

there are so many people readin these words now that if you put your hand against the screen, i can promise you, no matter what time it is, no matter where you are, someone else who feels the same is doing it too.

you are more than welcome to copy me and the things i do. i'll be busy doing new things while you do that.

you think you’re waitin for help. for someone to tell you what the right thing to do is. even though, at the back of your mind, you already know what that is. so all you’re really waitin for, is a time when you’re forced to do it.

"There were times when he caught me, but there were more times he let me fall and finally it came time for me to learn that I could pick myself up off the ground, and walk away." - Charlie Brown

and when at last you find someone to whom you feel you can pour out your soul, you stop in shock at the words you utter. they are so rusty, so ugly, so meaningless and feeble from being kept in the small cramped dark inside you so long...

life, i really believe, is about fallin in love. with ideas, with stories, with experiences, with job, mistakes, adventures, poetry, imaginations, old books, new books, movies, music, and, of course, people. everything that is worthwhile in this world is worth falling in love with, and i can’t imagine a better way to live one’s life than to be always head over heels. who says love is all bout dreamin'. :P

Thursday, April 07, 2011

love is so short, forgettin is so long

we fought. we argue. we shout. we yell. i hate you. vice versa. then i think of the happy times we had. it just surpresses the anger in me. just you, being there, laughin at my mishaps, and me laughin at your cynicism. play with your hair, and pretend to pull it out. you kiss me, i push you away. you roll over, i secretly want all of you. huggin me, listenin to my deepest secret and not judgin me meant the world. i love you more than anythin. Even though you’re the laziest person i know and sometimes i really want to punch you. i get excited about you. and i still do. moments before you arrivin in front of my office. minutes seemed like hours. i wonder how people complains bout bein bored of the other. you love somebody and then you don’t love them anymore. but if you really love somebody, you'll always love them, don’t you? isn’t there always some small part of you that reads their horoscope in the paper everyday?

sometimes it seems the harder you try to hold on to somethin or someone the more it wants to get away. you feel like some kind of criminal for havin felt, for havin wanted. for havin wanted to be wanted. it confuses you, because you think that your feelins were wrong, and it makes you feel so small because it's so hard to keep it inside when you let it out and it doesn't come back. you're left so alone that you can't explain.

i couldn't convince you that the blue you see is the same blue that I see. i'm more of a dreamer. you're prone to reality. reality means that the world isn't a dream and you and I really are happenin at the same time, even if it's not in the same place. that this is real. you're really there. i'm really here. we're real. this is real.

"He tells me I look as if I could use a hug and I laugh at him and he ignores me and steps forward and puts his arms around me and hugs me. I warm at the simple pleasure of human contact and for the first time in a long time I actually feel good." - James Frey.

wishful thinkin.

i'd call myself lucky if you'd even remember my name.

idk what to say

and that's the thing about people who mean everythin they say. they think everyone else does too. they are just words, and they may not make sense to me, but they are yours. they belong to you, they are what you feel. they come straight from your heart. you try to talk to me, but you don’t know what to say. you are afraid i don’t want you to say anythin. so you didn’t. but inside of you there are words waitin to come out. and tell me how you feel - like how i love you despite my broken heart. but those words may forever stay heart-locked inside. sometimes i wonder if there are words locked inside me too… you’ll never know.


we all have the potential to fall in love a thousand times in our lifetime. it's easy. the first boy i ever loved was someone i knew in form five. the last boy i love will be someone i haven't even met yet, probably. they all count. but there are certain people you love who do somethin else; they define how you classify what love is supposed to feel like. these are the most important people in your life, and you’ll meet maybe four or five of these people over the span of 80 years. but there’s still one more tier to all this. there is always one person you love who becomes that definition. it usually happens retrospectively, but it happens eventually. this is the person who unknowingly sets the template for what you will always love about other people, even if some of these loveable qualities are self-destructive and unreasonable. the person who defines your understandin of love is not inherently different than anyone else, and they’re often just the person you happen to meet the first time you really, really, want to love someone. but that person still wins. they win, and you lose. because for the rest of your life, they will control how you feel about everyone else.

Wednesday, April 06, 2011

baby boy

today marks the birth of an innocent and cute baby boy - born 34 years ago LOL. who?


the owner of the left hand side's cacated hand which ruined the heart shape =P this is the first birthday of his for me. and all i want to say is..

(partly expressed in FB) and....

i can’t put a price on our memories, which we don't have much anyways, but i can make them better by addin a few more to the pile. happy happy birthday, bee. (^3^)

xoxo. ❥ nee

Monday, April 04, 2011

the kisses alone don’t work

"there are two ways to reach me, by way of kisses or by way of the imagination. but there is a hierarchy: the kisses alone don’t work." -Anais Nin-

i am a person that has high highs and low lows. i am always growin emotionally and I'm very aware of everythin that i go through and that I experience personally. i'm always learnin somethin about myself, whether it's a good or a bad thing, that i need to work on. a lot of things make me sad. sometimes it's almost easier to be sad. but you do end up finding a balance and i think that as i get older i am learning what i can do for myself to make me happy.

always behave like a duck. keep calm and unruffled on the surface, but paddle like hell underwater.

anticipation leads to heartbeats, heartbeats lead to hope.

and then my soul saw you and it kind of went "oh there you are."

my heart keeps tellin me hold my breath. you'll never learn a thing if you bail out now.

wait. but don't wait too long. work hard. but don't forget how to play. sing loudly. but don't learn all the words. wonder. but not so much that you lose yourself. read magazines. but read more books. love.

when I put my arms around him, i felt the blushin blood run through my cheeks and an eeriness surrounded when his tongue began to speak and said, "you are beautiful."

this is how it works :: you're young until you're not. you love until you don't. you try until you can't. you laugh until you cry. you cry until you laugh. and everyone must breathe until their dyin breath. no, this is how it works :: you peer inside yourself. you take the things you like and try to love the things you took. and you take that love you made and stick it into someone else's heart. pumpin someone else's blood. and walkin arm in arm, you hope it don't get harmed. but even if it does, you just do it all again.

you’re in a car with a beautiful boy, and he won’t tell you that he loves you, but he loves you. and you feel like you’ve done somethin terrible, like robbed a liquor store, or swallowed pills, or shoveled yourself a grave in the dirt, and you’re tired. you’re in a car with a beautiful boy, and you’re tryin not to tell him that you love him, and you’re trying to choke down the feelin, and you’re tremblin, but he reaches over and he touches you, like a prayer for which no words exist, and you feel your heart takin root in your body, like you’ve discovered somethin you don’t even have a name for.

Friday, April 01, 2011

laughter is the best medicine lol

Aries & Scorpio Romantic Compatibility

When Aries and Scorpio come together in a love match, it can be the kind of relationship where they both wonder how they ever managed apart. Both Signs love power and they can achieve just about anything -- as long as they learn to share the spotlight. Scorpio is very focused; once they set their sights on Aries, Aries is most likely powerless to resist! Scorpio has a deeper and more complex devotion to this relationship than does Aries.

These two Signs tend to engage in heavy, heated arguments. Their connection is highly passionate and often argumentative, because both partners have jealous tendencies. Scorpio tends to be more patient, but is also more possessive than Aries - and can lash out with that Scorpion sting when their feelings get hurt. Despite their differences in emotional involvement, both partners love risk and taking chances, this is not a boring relationship. Aries and Scorpio can have lots of adventures together. They may have trouble understanding one another - Aries is a true extrovert, totally up-front and open, while Scorpio is more inward, emotional and, at times, manipulative. Sometimes a truce is necessary to keep things running smoothly!

Aries and Scorpio are both ruled by the Planet Mars (Passion), and Scorpio is also ruled by Pluto (Power). When two people with Mars's energy come together, it's like two soldiers on a battlefield - they're either allies or deadly enemies. Mars also represents passion, so Aries and Scorpio tend to have an exciting time together (both in the bedroom and out of it!). Arguments are normal in such a challenge-oriented couple - and making up is definitely something to look forward to! Pluto adds extra intensity to this dynamic.

Aries is a Fire Sign and Scorpio is a Water Sign. These two elements can be a great combination if they work together, combining emotion and physical action to get things done. Scorpio is a strategist, and can help Aries slow down and learn how to plan battles before jumping into them. Aries teaches Scorpio to let go and move on when their efforts are thwarted. However, Water can also put out a Fire, and Scorpio's tendency toward emotional manipulation has that effect on Aries - it's too much Water dampening Aries's enthusiasm. Conversely, too much Fire makes Water evaporate away; when under emotional stress, Scorpio can become vindictive. It's essential for Aries and Scorpio to work together, not against one another.

Aries is a Cardinal Sign and Scorpio is a Fixed Sign. Aries can teach Scorpio about spontaneity - doing things just for the experience, rather than always having an agenda in mind. Scorpio can help teach Aries to stabilize and finish things rather than always jumping into new projects without completing what's already on the table. When they can understand that they're both loyal and devoted to one another, they can both be the boss - Aries as the initiator and Scorpio as the emotional leader.

What's the best aspect of the Aries-Scorpio relationship? The power of their combined forces. They're both winners and they won't give up, making theirs a relationship that never settles for second best.

Read more interestin and farnee ones here LOL


me love unicorns

yesterday we were discussin' on the new upcoming local horror movie - KRU production, Karak and it's urband legend. am lookin forward to watch it in the cinema, love the suspense but boyfy wasn't interested. btw that's not my point of this post today.

it suddenly striked me on something horrific but funny in a way..there's a dumb story that i remembered when readin Great Teacher Onizuka manga. well it goes like this..Onizuka was tellin this story to his students...
this is a story I had long time ago from one of my older friends in my gang. it was a warm day, right in the middle of a rainy season. i think it was in Yokohama’s Isezaki neighbourhood. there was a rumour that there is a dumpling shop sellin dumplings made out of human meat. the owner of the dumpling shop said that the last person who bought it screamed out loud, but the buyer did not care and still bought the dumpling. Yeah so he, as in he bought it…

but…when he entered a dark alley, he suddenly felt like there is someone followin him. he turns around, there was nobody there. he got scared so he opened his box of dumpling. When he opened it, one of the dumpling is missin. then he heard a voice sayin “in the beginning, just one wasn’t enough”. he was really bothered by that, so at the next corner he opened that box again, and there is one less dumpling again.

So, the guy finally scared and started to rush home. he finally calms down, and opened the box, but this time for some reason, two more dumplings was no where to be seen. he got freaked out and closed the lid one more time, with an attempt to open it again. when he did that - nothin… not a single dumpling at all. all of it disappeared.

he became terrified, and when he opened the lid one more time to peek in he realized that all of the dumplings were actually stuck on the top of the box lid.

wtf roflmao!! it'd be funnier if you read the actual manga. xD have fun! it's episode 21 and name of the epi would be something like "the steamed dumpling fear".

skyscraper with dynamite on every floor

things break all the time. glass, and dishes, and fingernails. cars and contracts and potato chips. you can break a record, a horse, a dollar. you can break the ice. there are coffee breaks and lunch breaks and prison breaks. day breaks, waves break, voices break. chains can be broken. so can silence, and fever. promises break. hearts break.

it's not that i like breakin down. i wanted to be strong. deep inside, i know that someone's got to be the tough one, so that you all don't have to be. folks who are tryin to be kind would rather do it with macaroni and cheese bake than any personal involvement. you hand off a servin dish and you've done your job. no need to get personally involved, and your conscience is clean. food is the currency of aid.

facebook is supposed to be a social network, but the truth is, most people i know who use it spend so much time online tweakin our profiles and writin graffiti on other people's walls or pokin em' that we never leave our computers to actually socially interact. people who didn't talk about their problems got to pretend they didn't have any. people who discussed what was wrong, on the other hand, fought and ached and felt miserable.

when you showed someone how you felt, it was fresh and honest. when you told someone how you felt, there might be nothin behind the words but habit or expectation.maybe it did take a crisis to get to know yourself. maybe you needed to get whacked hard by life before you understood what you wanted out of it. families were never what you wanted them to be. we all wanted what we couldn't have: the perfect child, the doting husband, the mother who'd let us go. we lived in our own grown-up dollhouses completely unaware that, at any moment, a hand might come in and change around everythin we'd become accustomed to. maybe that's what we do to the people we love. we take shots in the dark and realize too late we've wounded the people we are tryin to was one thing to make a mistake. it was another to keep makin it. i knew what happened when you let yourself get close to someone, when you started to believe they loved you; and fcuk, you'd be disappointed. depend on someone, and you might as well admit you're goin to be crushed, because when you really needed them, they wouldn't be there. either that, or you'd confide in them and you added to their problems. all you ever really had was yourself, and that sort of sucked if you were less than reliable.

i told myself that if i didn't care, this wouldn't have hurt so much. surely that proved that i was alive and human and all those touchy feely things, for once and for all. but that wasn't a relief, not when I felt like a skyscraper with dynamite on every floor. when you don't have what you want, you have to want what you have. love wasn't about sacrifice, and it wasn't about falling short of someone's expectations. By definition, love made you better and good enough. it redefined perfection to include your traits, instead of excluding them.

people always say that, when you love someone, nothin in the world matters. but that's not true, is it? you know, and I know, that when you love someone, everythin in the world matters a little bit more.