idk what to say

and that's the thing about people who mean everythin they say. they think everyone else does too. they are just words, and they may not make sense to me, but they are yours. they belong to you, they are what you feel. they come straight from your heart. you try to talk to me, but you don’t know what to say. you are afraid i don’t want you to say anythin. so you didn’t. but inside of you there are words waitin to come out. and tell me how you feel - like how i love you despite my broken heart. but those words may forever stay heart-locked inside. sometimes i wonder if there are words locked inside me too… you’ll never know.

............


we all have the potential to fall in love a thousand times in our lifetime. it's easy. the first boy i ever loved was someone i knew in form five. the last boy i love will be someone i haven't even met yet, probably. they all count. but there are certain people you love who do somethin else; they define how you classify what love is supposed to feel like. these are the most important people in your life, and you’ll meet maybe four or five of these people over the span of 80 years. but there’s still one more tier to all this. there is always one person you love who becomes that definition. it usually happens retrospectively, but it happens eventually. this is the person who unknowingly sets the template for what you will always love about other people, even if some of these loveable qualities are self-destructive and unreasonable. the person who defines your understandin of love is not inherently different than anyone else, and they’re often just the person you happen to meet the first time you really, really, want to love someone. but that person still wins. they win, and you lose. because for the rest of your life, they will control how you feel about everyone else.