Monday, February 21, 2011

when someone knows..


Dear Heart,

You’re weird. First you gave love a chance, loving the wrong person for so long. You gave it all you had and let yourself open without thinking that you’ll ever get hurt and for five long years, you loved with all you had even though you knew that the other heart has fallen apart. Or was I wrong? You kept loving and loving, hoping that the other heart would change. Then the time actually came the time where you got hurt. Not just a short amount of hurt; you were hurt for more than a year. For a whole year you were occasionally broken. You tried talking to the other heart but was given a cold shoulder. But you never give up for a chance to love again. Why would you give love another chance when you have gone through so much bullshit and lies? I am sorry. So so so so so sorry that I put you through so much hurt and pain. That is why I kept you locked up. Locked up from the other heart. It was hard. I was never going to put you through more pain. So when this new guy came in my life, I kept you locked up even though you kept telling me to go for it while my head kept telling me “no” because I wanted to keep you protected. But you kept trying to come out and over power my mind. So after all the things you’ve been through you still wanted to open up to this new guy. He must be something special if you wanted to give love another try just for this one new guy. Then finally, you over-powered my mind. I listened to you rather then my head. I hope that you were right. Things happened so fast that there wasn't space to heal. You wondered yourself whether this what happened was true. I hope your decision will help me turn from that bitter heart broken girl to this happy smiling girl. I wonder how many more months will you need to seriously give love another chance again. He isn't the most perfect guy in the world. There were more doubts rather than perfection. But i can see he's putting effort in this relationship. There's more downs than ups but thank you telling me to go for him. Thank you for taking chances once again. We may not forsee what's gonna happen in the future.. But what i truly believe is never to give up on love. Its not easy to find someone you love. Its even harder to find someone who will love you back in return. I’m happy because even though I put you through so much pain, hurt, tears, bullshit, lies, and torture, you are still willin to give love another chance.



this one goes out to all my besties

It's a different type of love, and maybe we all need a break from the achey, sweet love that comes with romance, the kind that excludes the rest of the world, the kind that's limited only to you and him or her.

So this one goes out to all the best friends in the world. The ones that smile for you when you excitedly fall in love with some new, unknown boy. The ones that sit through a pack of cigarettes with you at two to five in the morning listening to you cry about said boy who cheated on you even though they've got to be up at six for work. Well, even if it isn't face to face, at least through what's app. The ones that take time off work, slackin, just for a little naughty afternoon shopping and eating on weekday. The ones who drag you to social events just to distract you from a broken heart. The ones who respond to every facebook, every twitter status update, just so you don't feel so alone and ignored. The ones who recognize you have a right to feel as shitty as you do about the boy who hurt you even though they'd spent the last two years telling you he was nothing but trash, the ones who don't tell you you're a fool, the ones who tell you you've a right to hurt. Because they're also the ones who have the strength and the love enough to tell you to snap out of it, that he was never worth it, because they're also the ones who have the courage to be honest enough to tell you you'd be a fool to take the manipulative creep back. The ones who bombard his messenger account with warnings to leave you alone, the ones who tell him behind your back to leave you well and alone, to stop messing with your mind when he's already with someone else. The ones who introduce you to new and wonderfully normal and loving boys.

This one also goes out to all the best other-gender best friends in the world. The ones that pick you up late at night for supper, just to take you out of your head. The ones that show you not all the men in the world are screw-ups and traitors, the ones that help you believe that good people still exist in the world. The ones you can laugh with without wanting to kiss, the ones who can give you that insight into that boy's soul you've been dying to know. The ones who swear they'll beat up or get the triads to beat up the poor sod who had the poor judgment to cheat on someone as wonderful and incredible as you even though it's the first night they've met you. This one goes out to all the incredible best other-gender best friends in the world who stuck around even when you abandoned them because your possessive ex-boyfriend went loco every time you even spoke to them. The ones that love you exactly the way you are, the ones that don't mind you snuggling against them just for a warm body without asking for anything more, the ones that come all the way down to the club from home just to drive you home, the ones that cry with you when you sit in your darkness wondering what you've done to deserve such betrayal from the one boy you'd give anything for. The ones that hurt with you when you're drowning in your darkness, the ones that hurt because they see your pain and can't do anything to touch you, to help you.

Friends never betray each other. We fight, sometimes. We disagree. We laugh at each other. But friends, friends are something else altogether. Friends are another way of sayin, "here, I know it's tough trying to find your soulmate, but here are some other people you know for sure you can count on forever." They're like family, but better because they love you without the moral obligation attached.

I see you, my lovable friends. And I love you. This is my apology, for doing what I did to our friendships, and this is my way of reminding the world that there is more love in the world that what exists between some guy and a girl.

I love you, my best friends.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

So you in activated her

The love you had for your ex isn’t the same as with someone new, each love is different. I think the love is just “inactive”; you can’t delete someone you truly loved. It’s almost like a facebook account, you can just inactivate your account, never delete it. If you want to and the time is right you can recreate it, but the pages have changed and so have you.

- Posted via BlogPress @ iPhone 4

Friday, February 18, 2011


Come with me to the sea of love

I miss "wu lou tujuh" laughter when we went movie together (?!?!)
I miss chatting with Jill ranting bout our problems
I miss being crazy and laugh bout it
I miss hangin out together and talk non stop till wee hours..

I pretty much miss every thing.

The one thing that's concerning me is that, even though I do still with them, few of my favourite people, in the same environment, doing similar things, it's not going to ever be the same again.

I never thought I would miss it, but I do.
I'm currently lying slap bang in the middle of  bee's double bed, with one duvet, four comfy pillows, two teddys and a dog coverin me. I want to listen to music, but I recently sync-ed my phone to bee's iTunes and poof..all my songs were gone. It's been ages since I *ahem* new songs. I felt so outdated and old at the same time. The kiasu-ism in me, heh. But there's always 704 on Astro. Current song playing, one of my all time fav, Pink's Sober.
Why sync btw? Because Cydia is givin us a crappy hard time especially BiteSMS. Us, I meant I wasn't the only one havin the same problem. Siew Mai had the same thing too and resulted in a black out on my iPhone for a night.

Anyways, bee went to work around 10 this morning. I can't be bothered to get out of bed though. I am too warm and toasty. I had a hard time getting my eyes fully opened.

I just thought I'd write a lil' sumin'sumin' because I was bored. :)

CNY has finally ended - with chinese Valentine's day or what we called Chap Gor Meh (the 15th Night).
Eventhough I ain't a big fan of Valentine, this year I wish for not just love. I wish to live in present moment, to love every day, to love people I'm spending my time with, and I wish for more passion! Passion is very important for going each step forward every time and learnin about new things. And I mean it in every way you can imagine. We all know, or wish to know, how passion in love feels like. That's why I wish, for you, the bumble bee and for me, more passion in life..

HAHAHA passionate-ism.

Tuesday, February 08, 2011

Happy CNY

Chinese new year - a time to spend with your family, and friends and your loved ones!!

- Posted via BlogPress @ iPhone 4