we fought. we argue. we shout. we yell. i hate you. vice versa. then i think of the happy times we had. it just surpresses the anger in me. just you, being there, laughin at my mishaps, and me laughin at your cynicism. play with your hair, and pretend to pull it out. you kiss me, i push you away. you roll over, i secretly want all of you. huggin me, listenin to my deepest secret and not judgin me meant the world. i love you more than anythin. Even though you’re the laziest person i know and sometimes i really want to punch you. i get excited about you. and i still do. moments before you arrivin in front of my office. minutes seemed like hours. i wonder how people complains bout bein bored of the other. you love somebody and then you don’t love them anymore. but if you really love somebody, you'll always love them, don’t you? isn’t there always some small part of you that reads their horoscope in the paper everyday?
sometimes it seems the harder you try to hold on to somethin or someone the more it wants to get away. you feel like some kind of criminal for havin felt, for havin wanted. for havin wanted to be wanted. it confuses you, because you think that your feelins were wrong, and it makes you feel so small because it's so hard to keep it inside when you let it out and it doesn't come back. you're left so alone that you can't explain.
i couldn't convince you that the blue you see is the same blue that I see. i'm more of a dreamer. you're prone to reality. reality means that the world isn't a dream and you and I really are happenin at the same time, even if it's not in the same place. that this is real. you're really there. i'm really here. we're real. this is real.
"He tells me I look as if I could use a hug and I laugh at him and he ignores me and steps forward and puts his arms around me and hugs me. I warm at the simple pleasure of human contact and for the first time in a long time I actually feel good." - James Frey.
i'd call myself lucky if you'd even remember my name.