Some of my friend quoted, "Rainy days made their sum cheng yuk shuen" which means wet season makes their mood ugly in direct translation. rofl. I beg to differ. I heart the rain. It soothes away whatever ugly moods I have =)
I'd like to blog about my relationship today. Just don't know where to start. Rather than wanting to reveal all the mushy stuffs, I'd felt like complaining more. I could rant for hours. I am not satisfied with it. Urgh. I guess my boo doesn't understand the meaning of "give and take", or maybe he never bothered to apply it into this relationship at all. For as long as I've been in KL, he stays with me. From the beginning of this relationship, he never liked me going out at all. Let me put it in another words, he doesn't like me being away from him for even one sec. Hello! I have my friends, colleagues and also family members. I know you loved me till death do us part but this is not the right thing to do, darling. It'd be a looooooooooong list if I were to list out what are the things he likes and dislikes me doing. I'm gonna skip that part. Those who know me, knew what's happening. Frankly speaking, I always encourage him to hang out with his friends and colleagues, but he doesn't. So he expects me to do the same?! Hell no. That's how the hard headness in the both of us, caused the frequent arguement. I used to go back to Ipoh once or twice a month before my dad passed away. Even then, I chose to hang out with my friends, he doesn't seemed happy about it. He met MOST of them. I don't see what is the thing that he is worried about. Darn it! For 3 years plus, it's been like this. So I've decided to let in - not going out with anyone at all when I'm in KL. I'd reject all invitations to club, even yumcha or company outings. As time goes, he took things for granted. The more I gave in, the more he demanded. I felt the numbness in me everytime we argued. Every fucking time, he'd mention that I only care about myself and not taking care of the dog at home. Fuck him! I love my dog and he knew it! Each and everytime, he tried making me feel guilty but it doesn't work. It just isn't going to work anymore. He doesn't trust me. He needs me to report to him everyday plus answering all his extra would-like-to-know questions. Fuck it!
My friends and even my brother asked me what are the things that I loved him for previously. I told them, all the good things he had done previously have changed. The only thing is he doesn't go out, is not interested in other girls, and he is god damn fucking in love with me. Bottomline? He makes a good husband but a bad boyfriend. All I asked for is some time in between for me to hang out with my friends. That's it. No! He'd follow me everywhere I go - including back to Ipoh. Sometimes when I asked him to join my friends gathering, he tagged along, but all he did was sitting there quietly playing the freaking NDSL. What's the point of coming out then? Showing your freakin black face and not talking? I have to admit most of my friends, they dislike when my boo is there to join us. We can't talk like how we usually do. It's like we all have to pretend in front of him and watch our mouths. We're very in love with each other and I can't live without him but with all these arguements and unnecessary fights, I'd rather let go sometimes. At this point of time, this is not the right thing that I should worry about - but he's giving me more and more problems. Imma retire to bed now, as I'm quite sleepy and my head's blank. Nights.